the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
