I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
