She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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