you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
