If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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