fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
