Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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