my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
