I bet he comes in French.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
