At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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