i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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