do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
