Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
