I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I want is dick and wine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
