Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We are two peas in an std pod
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
