Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
