I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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