So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
