I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
