Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
