I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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