At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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