I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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