did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
