ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
