I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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