oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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