I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
