you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
