I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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