pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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