i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
only you would photoshop your dick
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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