he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
