wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
