I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
