Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
