Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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