I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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