Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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