Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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