i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there was a trapeze. enough said
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
