I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We talked him into tasing himself.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize