A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
