I don't think brook has ever known best
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
