Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
