I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
