I heard we made out
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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