Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
two words...techno handjob
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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