Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The uberlube is also flammable
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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