I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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