Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
