i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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